Why do we drink beer?

1. To socialize.

2. To make it look like we're socializing.

3. To prove we can.

4. Because beer's 'hot'. (Fine. It's usually cold. But it makes you seem hot.)

5. Because of the acquired taste (thanks to hops).

6. Because it relaxes us somehow and makes us sleep better (the latter part of the sentence I don't really agree with).

7. Because beer increases the amount of good cholesterol (HDL) into the bloodstream as well as helps decrease blood clots. (Go, Google it.)

8. Because it warms you up (this number is waaay different from statement 4).

9. Because you get to think more clearly. Trust me.

10. Because it justifies your being a show off. And your being passionate. And emo.

11. Because it allows you to be and everyone else will either forgive you for 'being' or not take your words and actions seriously. (And then you can rest knowing that they'd shrug everything off thereafter. )

12. Because we want beer. And more beer!

13. Peer pressure?

14. Because we'd like to be on the morning news: Minor arrested for DUI.

15. Because we'd like to experiment with tastes.

16. Because we'd like to see (and feel) the aftereffects.

17. Because we don't like the hangovers that hard liquor causes.

18. Because we're Pinoys and huge fans of Red Horse.

19. Because our fathers drink beer. And our forefathers did, too. And their forefathers. And their... zzz.

20. Because beer's fun!

21. Because we don't want to outlive our friends by being squeaky clean and vice-free.

22. Because we want to live crazily for the moment and wake up the next morning to tell the tale. Or to make sure everyone else does not (tell the tale).

23. Because it livens up the world, somehow. Everything's vivid and magical. And, in it, you can be so happy - yes, in that drunken stupor.

24. Because. Just because.

Wunderkind

When you seek a place, a thing, a name,
When you try to gather all then sleep,
When you listen to every word, and sound, and grief,
When you're filled to the top and cannot breathe...

When you roam and wonder at the undiscovered sights,
When you cry and hunger for warmth and light,
When you kneel amid the thorns, amid the vines,
When you grope for understanding but are given a knife...

When you speak of tales, of wrath, of haste,
When you smile in pain and nod 'hello',
When you close your eyes and let the anger flow,
When you open your hand for a Touch you missed so...

... you wait for Magic to happen
and will Time to hold all Wonders.
That's when you realize you're perfect, but all alone:
and there's No One there to take in the Beauty with you.

February 10, 2006

blank stare

Blank, yet again, but still I have the urge to pour out the deafening silence onto this canvas. And I realize the 'blank' state is only an armor I resort to when times get dire.

Thus, though I'd call it blankness or even apathy, in all actuality, I am not devoid of any emotions. I'd be irritable and angry, even bitter. I'd be depressed, the pathetic loser that I really am.

The blankness is just my friend - a blanket to ward off further damage to my shell.

[cursor]

Inside, I bleed.

personal ghosts

No reasons, just what is:
I couldn't question the existence
nor do I want to - it just is.
The thoughts, the words
in my head or elsewhere
are.
They are.

Perhaps I know the why's
and the how's
but I choose to be ignorant.
After all,
only I know my truth.
Others can only guess.
You can only close your eyes
and wonder.

peanut butter-lover

Joe Black: ...But Allison loves you?
Quince: [Quince nods yes between stifled sobs]
Joe Black: How do you know?
Quince: Because she knows the worst thing about me and it's okay.

Almost there.

Browsing through my "parked quill", I saw an entry I had for June 23, 2005. The first line looked familiar, as well as the rest that flowed thereafter. I decided to update the last part, though, for Time's sake.

Additional note: I didn't just update the last part. I modified the entry from top to bottom, not completely but enough to change its feel.

I'm torn halfway between the gutter and the stars. To fall means to go back to certainty, with the stable pavement under my feet. To soar means to touch the sky, to lose myself in the process, and perhaps to realize there aren't enough comets for us all to call our own.

This is the farthest distance I've flown so far, not to mention the strangest route I've taken. Law is art and science fused, they say. Perhaps that is why I had thought I can just go halfway. I live for art; I'd rather die than study science. I had thought I would be torn halfway. But I've moved past the midpoint, just a short distance from the clearing.

In the course of three (yes, three) weeks, my then uneventful life experienced a lot of good times and enthusiasm, bringing back the bloom in my cheeks. And it was as if I were sixteen yet again. I gallivanted with countless of people who had been longing for a tease of the carefree life once more, and albeit temporarily. I've surrendered to sleepless nights due to booze, fun, and freedom. Letting my hair down, I engaged in unplanned conversations and trips, in adventures and misadventures.

And when I returned to the uneventful life I had, I was pleasantly surprised to find that I still had spontaneous bursts of energy and verve within me. Everything's fast-paced and monochromatic now, save for the ties and scarves and shawls worn by the expectant faces around me. But I still feel refreshed. I still have the urge to giggle at every unusually mundane sound.

And I realize that this is what I'd like to do (yes, 'this'). Though Code's pages mandate discipline, I choose to sway against necessity and imperativity. The right to expression. The freedom to be. And the choice is mine, as it had always been.

I've found my lines. I realized it as soon as I changed the title from "Halfway" to "Almost there."

You see, I don't search for my passion anymore. I make it - from scratch or otherwise.

Zero visibility

Flights from Cagayan de Oro to Manila on January 3, 2009 were canceled due to the weather in Cagayan. Good thing the airlines got the stranded passengers a special flight for the next morning.
So, since I didn't want to sit through another road trip to and fro Bukidnon yet again, I opted to check in at Malberry Suites here in Cagayan de Oro.
And now I'm torn between "blankness" and bleakness.

Can't see the distance
can't look through the fog;
I try to live as the minutes tick by
and for these minutes
I'd be able to understand the hours.
My plane has landed
yet it can't take off again
and I wonder: should I stay
still, where my feet are stable
or try to fight the rough
inconstant winds.

(You give me the answer
but I shrug it off.
I've always wanted to make
all my flights work.)