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Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Der Schattenparker

Ich bin Schattenparker.

Dieser Satz fiel mir ein, als ich letzten Samstag in Berlin gegangen bin. Nö. Es hat eigentlich nichts zu tun mit dem Ort (ich war zu dieser Zeit im Kreuzberg). In Wirklichkeit fand ich Berlin total ausgezeichnet --- eine besondere Mischung von kulturellem Ausdruck, Kunst, Freiheit und einer Art Kameradschaft. Egal wer du bist, wie du aussiehst, wirst du in Berlin akzeptiert.

Dieser Satz fiel mir ein, als ich über manche Details, die ich am diesen Tag von jemandem hörte, nachdachte. Leute sehen nicht alles. Laut Spruch, Leute sehen nur was sie sehen wollen. Er st wahrscheinlich wahr aber vielleicht ist es auch wegen der begrenzten Vorstellungskraft des Menschen. Und ich war zwar so und hatte ein Bild vom aktuellen Ereignis im Kopf. Dieses Bild zeigt wie ich etwas sah und verstand. Mir war dieses Bild echt wunderschön.

Allerdings hat mir jemand mehr über das aktuelle Ereignis erzählt. Laut ihrer Erzählung war dieses Ereignis tatsächlich bunter und verrückter aber auch abenteuerreicher als mein Bild davon. Als ich zuhörte, sah ich, dass mein Bild langsam in Fetzen zerfiel. Ich hatte nichts von diesen Farben und dem Abenteuer gewusst. Ich habe sogar nichts davon gesehen. Vielleicht war das wegen meiner begrenzten Vorstellungskraft oder einfach weil ich ein blinder Idiot bin. Aber die Wahrheit --- diese bunte Farbe, die mein gerissenes Bild einfüllte --- erschreckt mich. 

Die Welt ist etwas anderes, als mein Bild davon und ich brauche noch was Zeit, um mehr zu verstehen. Wahrscheinlich am besten im Schatten. 



Thursday, March 27, 2014

Get that blueberry muffin

It's a game of sorts: fluffy pieces of baked goodness which only costs 1.50€ per piece but in your head, a handful of reasons, excuses, and arguments race one after the other, pro and contra, trying to make sense of the seeming trivial situation.

What?!? That would've only cost 25pesos where I come from!
Oh but 1.50€ is so cheap! It would've cost 2.25€ at the bakery a block away!
That'd put all the handwork --- not eating rice nor potatoes at lunch while ravishing that half-chicken -- to futility. 
I'm not fat, at least not that fat yet, so one muffin won't work.
It's a cheat. Better to make your own muffin. Not only would it be cheaper, it would be healthier.
I have an entire afternoon of work ahead. Do I really want to have coffee with nothing on the side for 4 hours more?
I want you. 

When confronted with choices and opportunities, most often than not we argue with ourselves so as to see which side bears more logic and thus more likely to bring us benefits. No, I'm not just talking about blueberry muffins here but also about career opportunities, travels, investment houses, insurance packages, and, yes, which restaurant to go to for dinner. It's the rational thing to do, weighing all advantages and disadvantages. We use our heads, not our guts, unless there's no basis or data available for our heads to process.

But it takes time and, more often than not, going with our instinct and raw preferences is the simplest way. Do we really have to justify everything we do or choose? Do we even have to choose which activity needs justification and which can just be relegated to the gut?

Is doing what you want just for the sake of wanting to, if I may refer to previous words used in reference therefor, in fact juvenile, irresponsible, selfishly hedonistic, or barbaric?

I cried.
But why?
Because I felt like crying. 
No, really. What happened?

I'm moving to South Africa.
Why?
I just want to.
But why South Africa? What about your job here? Your family? Have you thought about this?

I signed up for capoeira lessons. I'll be starting on Monday.
Why capoeira? Have you done that before? Are you interested in fighting?
No. I have the time. That's it.

Yeah, yeah. I know. When people ask, they're interested and curious (and curiosity is always good for personal and cognitive development) and you don't even have to answer if you don't want to. But sometimes, it's your own self who asks the questions and presents the pro-/contra- arguments. Have you ever stopped and asked yourself why do so (except of course for those morally questionable or illegal choices, which of course entails you to stop and shake some sense to yourself)?

We're wasting time trying to stir sense into everything. Why not have more whimsy?

Oh, and yes, I got my muffin.