The Quiet World

-Jeffrey McDaniel

In an effort to get people to look
into each other’s eyes more,
and also to appease the mutes,
the government has decided
to allot each person exactly one hundred
and sixty-seven words, per day.

When the phone rings, I put it to my ear
without saying hello. In the restaurant
I point at chicken noodle soup.
I am adjusting well to the new way.

Late at night, I call my long distance lover,
proudly say I only used fifty-nine today.
I saved the rest for you.

When she doesn’t respond,
I know she’s used up all her words,
so I slowly whisper I love you
thirty-two and a third times.
After that, we just sit on the line
and listen to each other breathe.

withdrawal

Okay. After my last post, I realized I am too hooked on J-drama. Will cut off the programming starting this minute.

(As for Hiro.... he's not as easy to cut off. I must remember the following: he's married; he's a celebrity; he's miles and miles away; he doesn't and will never know I exist. Oh, and come on!!! I don't even crush on the celebrities in my own country!)

Okay. So henceforth, it will be a review of the corporate code, articles on asset protection trusts, reality shows, Oprah, maybe some un-addictive chick lits to bore myself to death, and ... some gym time.

Regular programming coming up!

Butler woes

That's it?!? That's it?!? What?!?

You have got to be kidding me. That was supposed to be the "Last Kiss", as stated in the episode title? That was their first kiss! And, what? It's also supposed to be their last; otherwise, why would it be entitled "The Last Kiss"?!?

Last kiss as butler and his lady because thereafter they'll be kissing as lovers? Last kiss EVER because of the law? WHAT?!? What kind of ending is that?!?

Horrible! Terrible!

Can somebody kick some sense into the director/s and the screenwriter/s?!? I need a continuation, special episode, succeeding episode, part two, another ending ---- whatever they can give me ---- of Mei-chan no Shitsuji!

They could just make a special episode wherein Izumi, as the Lucia-sama, abolishes the rule against lady-butler relationships and so Mei-san and Rihito can have the usual blah-blah DEFINITE happy ending.

Ugh. That one kiss was simply NOT enough. Come on! I mean, COME ON! You can't do this to me! Give me a definite ending or else I will be painting all sorts of other endings in my head all day and all night! I don't want that! The world does not want that (butterfly effect, remember?)!

Gahd! She did not even get to close her eyes when the kiss happened! Another scene! Another chance! Another episode, at least!!!

I beg you... (I could do a rain dance... or a "give-me-another-episode-for-that-Japanese-drama dance". Anything!)

Or, you can just ship Rihito to me. With his butler's garb, or without. I'm not that picky.

communication

Here's me talking to you. Here, where you couldn't blurrblurrblurr me when i start to reason out.

I don't mind it when you tell me my hair is ugly. Or that my dress is not in style. But why the double standards when I try to turn the tables on you?

You say it's because you're a man and I say, so what? Just because you're a man doesn't mean you can be a total slob and, much less, be a judge of what's ugly and what's hot on me.

You assume all things about me: that I think this and I think that. That my intention was this and my intention was that.

I don't even mind that you try to impress your thoughts upon me. I know you're just trying to help. But, please, give me room to have my own perceptions also. I am merely human. I have opinions about all sorts of things. And although you won't agree with most of them, they're my opinions nonetheless. I will ask for your opinions (and I do) when I feel you'd know better.

This does not mean I love you less. I'm just tired of just taking it all in without saying what I feel. I do not try to change you. Please do not try to change me also, not even my laughter.

This is me: I laugh out loud. I am very candid. I do not want to change or suppress my laughter because you think it is not a woman's laughter. Wake up. I am a woman, yet I have this big, hearty laugh.

I can't change everything you want me to change. And I do not want to.

I won't do everything you want me to do. I am not a dummy. Please respect that.

So when you start telling me I think this and that and that even though I'm saying this and that, what I really mean is this and that, then be prepared to be treated like that also. It's not fair that you are the only one who can do all these things and get away with it. We are equals. Please recognize that.

So, here's me, just telling you what's on my mind. Here, where you cannot interrupt me or make me feel guilty for thinking and saying all those things.

I hope someday soon you'd read this.

i put the cross on the roads

I never believed one arrives at a crossroad by chance.

Our steps are our own. And even if we say that our eyes were blindfolded as we walked, it was still our choice to walk to whichever direction we did.

So let us not blame chance for confusing us. We brought this upon ourselves.

walk my thoughts

I'm fascinated again with 9 Crimes.

I want a balloon.

The right time and THE right time

The clock strikes 12. The alarm rings.

Lunch. Break-time. An excuse to leave your desk - legitimately.

Yet you sit there, unmoving, not waiting for anything at all. You're just... wondering at how much difference it can make. It. No one knows really what it is. For you, it is a lot of things. And a lot of things, converged at one place, at one time, can surely make a great difference.

People mill all around you. They oddly stare at you, wondering why you're left there, contemplating. The clock had struck 12 already, after all.

Yet you stay.

The clock strikes 12. The alarm rings.

Cinderella story. Curfew. Grounding opportunities when you're not home by then.

But that was past, and now, the party has just begun. You're a loser if you go home before then. So to save face, you endure a couple more minutes of grinding, loud music and rounds of tequila shots.

Does this bother you? No. Not quite. You just stare quietly ahead. Looking, but not really seeing the other people. Is it indifference or haughtiness, others ask. You know it may be both, but not quite both.

Time changes everything. And how difference time makes!

The clock has struck 12. It has set things and people into motion. But then again, it is not your clock.

So you stay.