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Help end child hunger

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Help me.

Help me lock away my heart. Hide the key. Don't give it back to me until I am up there, until my name is secure.

Remind me to close my tear ducts. Tell me whenever I need to hear it that tears are for sissies and that I am no sissy. I am that wall, that indifferent bitch you'd be afraid to mess around with.

Look me in the eyes and tell me all you see are my lenses. Touch my hand and remind me not to touch you or anyone else back. Touch me and feel my coldness. I am depositing all my warmth in a safety deposit box and giving it to you for safe-keeping. Keep it until it is well for me to have it back. Touch me then go.

Help me to not feel, to not care. I need to be numb; I need to forget the breeze for now. I need to close my eyes and lie.

...next to the mausoleum...

Help me play dead. I need to be... *lowers my eyes*

Help me.

7 comments:

GREEKHOPLITE said...

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GREEKHOPLITE said...

alright forgot to mention, nice blog name, is it named after the japanese god of thunder?

Lei said...

hey there. nope, not really. "raijne" is a god of thunder in japan? Didn't know that. :)

I just wanted a common sound (I pronounce it as "rain") with an unusual spelling, thus, I came up with "raijne". Thanks for visiting my blog!

Lei said...

oh damn. so my name shows up in the site. damn, damn, damn. *will tinker with the settings later*

don't shoot yourself. that'd be quite messy. Also, it's so emo. So cliche. Shoot one's self - and then what? everybody will be talking about you for a time, maybe remember you by and by, be sad, shed a few tears. But that's it.

Better to live a while longer and create waves. But of course, that's just me talking.

I emailed you. :)

GREEKHOPLITE said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lei said...

Greekhoplite, I removed one of your comments since you had incriminated me by posting one of my names. :)

but my response still stands.

good to hear from you after, what, about 7 years? :)

GREEKHOPLITE said...
This comment has been removed by the author.